Here we go again, folks, with a live blog of this year's GGs from
PopBopShop Girl's living room -- although, let's be honest, I'm probably sitting with the only person who stands a chance of reading this live... Regardless, I'll try to refresh every 15 minutes or so!
Red Carpet
- Tuning in to the E! Network's red carpet, immediately Carrie Underwood scores a run with her shiny Badgley Mischka strapless number. She shoots the shit with Ryan Seacrest, and I wonder if she regrets that she is forced to be nice to him given their shared history on Idol. Hmm.
- Helena Bonham Carter is wearing one red shoe and one green shoe, and has a mop of hair piled on her head. She actually looks like her
Harry Potter character, Bellatrix Lestrange. Given how refined her nominated
King's Speech character was, I'm surprised.
- Nicole Kidman is pooching!! From the couch: "Given that she's a skeleton, that's not exactly hard." We discuss if she may be preggers... hmm. Ugh I forgot their child is named Sunday.
- Justin Bieber (The Biebs) gets to go to the Golden Globes and I don't?! He's presenting?! From the couch: "He got a haircut." He sounds like a child. Oh wait, he is.
- Jane Krakowski beats Natalie Portman for "Best Pregnant Person Dress." :::sigh::: It's another Badgley Mischka! Wow! Perhaps I have a fav designer and didn't even know it!
- Jane Lynch!
- Julianne Moore in a one sleeve, yet
puffed one sleeve, FUSCIA number. She quickly makes Molly's Worst Dressed list. Oy.
- Sofia Vergara in red Vera Wang. Wowza. Corset lacing up the back, boobs and pleats in front. Atta girl. It helps you, too, that you keep pronouncing it "Wong." However, I do
not believe she only works out 2 times a week and the rest of it is her EasyTone Reeboks. Puhlease.
- Catherine Zeta-Jones in a gorgeous emerald strapless Monique Lhullier. Great choice. Keepin' it real, Michael Douglass makes sure to ask about the Jets/Pats score in between giving updates on his cancer. (The game is going horribly for the Pats, but his cancer is going well.)
- ANGELINA JOLIE IS NOT WEARING BLACK! Green Versace. Very retro. Very good choice.
- Another green gown on Miss Mila Kunis! Seems to be the color of the season. Aaaand of course they ask her about the sex scene.
- Sandra Bullock -- from the couch: "Glenda the Good Witch." Too true.
- Robert Downey, Jr., usually so dapper, looks scruffy. And for the last time, we don't care about your not famous wife.
- Kelly Osbourne is on the glam cam crew. Unclear as to why this is a development this year. Being skinny does not make you fashionable. PS.
- Christina Aguilera looks (a) naked and (b) like her boobies are about to make a cameo.
- Claire Danes, of awful Latisse commercial fame, is wearing hot pink and looks quite pretty!
- I want to be friends with Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt! They look so fun!
- Halle Berry is NAKED. Hoochie! Announces she is sweating, and that's her excuse for wearing no clothing. NO. However, she has my haircut, so she wins some points for that.
- From the couch: "Literally, Michelle Williams' dress looks like something I made in kindergarten. Hideous."
- J-Lo, wearing a white poncho. From the couch: "She looks like she's going to her Quinceñera." When talking to Seacrest! Out! she says, about being nervous about getting stuff on her dress, "Mark says 'Don't touch yourself!'" $10 that makes it into quotes of the week, totally out of context.
- Anne Hathaway, despite her dinner-plate-sized sequins on her Armani, looks pretty.
- Mandy Moore looks so pretty in a sapphire one shoulder mermaid number! She looks great, but I'd put her hair up to show her neckline off.
- Amy Adams looks lovely in navy.
- Thank the good sweet lord for people like Christina Hendrix, (who covered up her ta-tas, to stunning effect) who have HIPS! Love it.
- Tilda Swinton - Why are you such a hot mess?! From the couch: "Went into some guy's closet, pulled out a men's dress shirt, and then paired it with her comforter."
And with that, off we go to
THE SHOW!
- The host, Ricky Gervais. I think his suit is checkered. Maybe he'll drink at the podium again this year! A Charlie Sheen crack to get it started! "Seems like everything this year was 3-D, except the characters in
The Tourist." Other targets: Cher, things not nominated, Scientology, Hugh Hefner and his penis, and Mel Gibson. Off to a good start! Lots of "ohhhhhhhhhs!" from the couch.
- Scarlett Johansson, in a matronly horror, presents
Best Supporting Actor in a Drama to
Christian Bale for
The Fighter. Horrid hair, but I assume it's for a role. Forgiven. Really nice comment to Mark Wahlberg. Dedicates it to his daughter! So cute.
- PS why is Geoffrey Rush wearing a hat and have a bald head?! Is he sick!? :(
- LL Cool J and Julie Bowen present
Best Actress in a TV Series Drama to
Katie Sagal for "Sons of Anarchy." Coyly, she says "I'm shocked! ... But I'm prepared." Cute.
- Julianne Moore and Kevin Spacey introduce Miss Golden Globe, Gia Montegna, daughter of Joe. They present
Best Mini-series or Television Series to "
Carlos." Surprise! Definitely thought it would go to "Temple Grandin." On the plus side, I don't care about this speech, so I can eat the delicious food Molly has prepared. From the couch: "I would rather he speak in Spanish."
- Bruce Willis, or as Gervais dubs him, "Ashton Kutcher's Dad," presents the clip for
Red, nominated for Best Musical or Comedy.
- Leighton Meister and Garrett Hedlund present
Best Actor in a TV Musical or Comedy to
Chris Colfer for "Glee!!!!" The couch screams with excitement! Everyone in the awards room looks THRILLED for him, as well they should. What a cutie! "I think I just dropped my heart between Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore, so if anyone sees it, please give that back to me."
- Michelle Pfeifer, in sheer purple, presents the clip for
Alice in Wonderland, nominated for Best Musical or Comedy.
- Eva Longoria almost trips on her way onstage - from the couch, "As if she hasn't had a bad enough year already." She introduces the President of the Hollywood Foreign Press. Short and sweet speech, just how I like it.
- Kevin Bacon and Milla Jovovich present
Best Actor in a TV Series Drama to
Steve Buschemi for "Boardwalk Empire." Thanks his 4-year-old nephew who called him and left a message, saying "Uncle Steve, wish me luck!" So cute!
- They go on to present
Best TV Series - Drama to
Boardwalk Empire. I have heard this show is great! Funny speech, including: "Holy effin' crap!" and "To my family back in Brooklyn: I can't believe I'm sitting at a table with Al Pacino, either!" For the record, I love Kelly MacDonald - I hope her career leads to more awards.
- Andrew Garfield -- what the what?! He's British!! -- introduces the clip for
The Social Network.
- Alec Baldwin and JLo present
Best Original Song from a Motion Picture to
"You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" from
Burlesque. Cher isn't there, which is disappointing. The speech is a mess of free association, despite her written notes. From the couch: "She looks like Chris Jenner... meets Liza."
- They go on to present
Best Original Score to
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for
The Social Network.
- Hailee Steinfeld and The Bieb present
Best Animated Feature Film to
Toy Story 3. No surprise there, but wish it went to
Despicable Me.
- Aaaaaand Gervais is drinking. He's lost his jacket. I love the GGs.
- Robert Downey, Jr.: "Aside from the fact that [Ricky Gervais has] been hugely meanspirited with mildly sinister undertones, I'd say the vibe of the show is pretty good!" Presents
Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy, saying, "I'd give it to all five of you at once. (The award.)" to
Annette Bening for
The Kids Are All Right. Well, obvi.
- Annette gives a slightly robotic speech. :::sigh:::
- Sylvester Stallone, with a dapper pocket square presents the clip for
The Fighter.
- Goeffrey Rush and Tilda Swinton present
Best Actor in a Mini Series or TV Movie to
Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack." Noticed: They don't play the "wrap it up" music for Pacino.
- They present
Best Actress in a Mini Series or TV Movie to
Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin." The real Temple is there! So sweet! "I have to thank you on behalf of the literally
millions of lives who have been dignified... by you."
- Zac Efron introduces the clip for
The Kids Are All Right.
- The fake hate-fest between Gervais and Steve Carrell goes on, to hilarious effect.
- Tina Fey and Steve Carrell present
Best Screenplay to
Aaron Sorkin for
The Social Network.
- Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth present
Best Supporting Actress in a TV Musical or Comedy to
Jane Lynch for "Glee." She is too funny: "I am nothing if not falsely humble."
- Olivia Wilde (looking like a sparkly princess) and Robert Pattinson present
Best Foreign Language Film to
In a Better World, from Denmark. The lady hiked her dress up so high climbing the stairs that we could see her Spanx! Hollywood! They're just like us!
- Helen Mirren introduces the clip for
The King's Speech using lots of birthing language. Awkward.
- Vanessa Williams and Blair Underwood present
Best Actress in a TV Comedy or Musical to
Laura Linney for "The Big C." Aaaaaand the bitch ain't there. She's very busy and important.
- Jane Fonda, who apparently hasn't been to the GGs in 25 years, introduces the clip for
Burlesque. It's unclear as to why she needed to return for that, but she did.
- Kayley Cuoco and Matthew Bomer present
Best Actor in a TV Comedy or Musical to
Jim Parsons for "Big Bang Theory." From the couch: "He'll be walking to the stage from San Francisco!" He's totally in the cheap seats.
- Jeremy Irons presents
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture to
Melissa Leo for
The Fighter. So deserved. She looks beautiful!!! As her speech goes on and gets more and more enthusiastic, we consider that she also
may be intoxicated.
- Matt Damon presents the
Cecil B. DeMille Award to
Robert DeNiro. After a montage that gained momentum towards the end and culminates in a resounding standing ovation, DeNiro gives a funny (phew!) speech. He seems like a chill dude, self-depricating, aware, and humorous.
- Megan Fox introduces the clip for
The Tourist.
- Annette Bening presents
Best Director - Motion Picture to
David Fincher for
The Social Network. I pay no attention to his speech.
- Jimmy Falon and January Jones present
Best TV Series - Musical or Comedy to "
Glee." In the future, they should consider playing a different song each time. Mercedes looks
great! From the couch, after their short speech: "They should have had a
song prepared!!"
- Alicia Keyes introduces the clip for
Black Swan. From the couch: "Is she still pregnant?" "No, she just wrapped herself up in the red carpet."
- Halle Berry and her Hoo-Ha present
Best Actor in a Feature Film - Musical or Comedy to
Paul Giamatti for
Barney's Version. He mentions that there are free boxes of Godiva chocolates. PB+Jealous. Then he thanks Canada. He's definitely drunk.
- Joseph Gordon Levitt introduces the clip for
Inception.
- Jeff Bridges presents
Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama to
Natalie Portman for
Black Swan. Don't love her dress. She's humble and gracious yet has a nerdy, nerdy laugh. Not everyone can be perfect.
- Tom Hanks and Tim Allen present
Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical to
The Kids Are All Right.
- Sandra Bullock, with heavy, dark bangs that she could do without, and a dress that is notttttt so cute, presents
Best Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama to
Colin Firth for
The King's Speech. He uses the phrase "surprisingly robust triangle of man-love" in his speech - make of that what you will. He also calls Geoffrey Rush "my geisha girl." Why, Mr. Darcy! You funny.
- Michael Douglas, getting a riotous standing O for his apparently better health, presents
Best Motion Picture - Drama to
The Social Network. Kudos to the accepting producer for making the cast come up on stage - as first-time nominees, maybe they didn't know they could?
Two minutes early, we're done!
